Being thankful makes you notice the little things.
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May YOU have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day with friends and family eating delicious, home-cooked food, sharing rich conversation, and spending time with those special people that bring you joy.
There is not a better day to foster friendships Friday, than on this most special day. T- Table set which serves as the main attraction H- Hungry diners that anticipate the dinner bell A- Active children that run around having fun N- Nice décor that provides a backdrop for a dinner spread K- Kind grandparents which anticipate being with the grandkids S- Sophisticated eaters that expect everything home-made G- Gravy bowls filled to the brim to accompany the stuffing I - Ice in glasses ready to receive the sweet tea with lemon V- Voices from every corner filling the entire room I- Images of the past shown to old and young alike N- New memories to remember and enjoy G- God-given gratitude for all the abundance Photo taken from the chengdubookworm website Act like a diamond, and people will treat you accordingly.
If you are struggling with valuing you, this Relationships Matter Monday commentary will get you thinking about your worth being that of a diamond.
Value is determined by what a person is willing to pay. If an individual deems something is worth the price tag, he or she will decide to make the purchase. Let’s take a diamond, for example. If this same person decides that this sparking jewel is too cheap or expensive, the shopper may or may not decide to buy it. In other words, the power is in their hands. The decision for the product staying on the store shelf or coming home rests entirely on them. It is the buyer’s ultimate decision to determine what something is or is not worth. The same value choices that a person uses to buy an expensive or inexpensive piece of jewelry can be applied in the judgment of their own self-worth. It is up to them or you, if you are reading this post to make the final decision. You may have never been told this before, but you are the one who determines your value; being that of a precious diamond or something of lesser worth. No other person has the right to make that choice for you. In understanding this responsible, self-concept principal, you choose what behaviors you will or will not accept. Most likely, if you have a healthy self-esteem, you will decide to be in relationships that are mutually beneficial and loving, with clear-cut boundaries. In sharp contrast, if you have struggled with this aspect of life, it will also be reflected by your involvement with people who cannot or choose not to respect you. Again, you make the decision in either scenario: choosing the worth of an inanimate object, such as a beautiful diamond, or your own self- worth, which is far more valuable. This Determine your Worth; the Diamond tips below should help you begin to sparkle if you have never thought about or would like to learn how to be treated like a precious jewel. Determine your Worth; the Diamond Tips 1. Determine your own value. Realize that you have the power to determine your self-worth, and to choose what you will or will not accept in your life. (Parents, you can help your 16-24 year olds with this, instead of allowing their peers to make that decision for your kids). 2. Periodically review the quality of your relationships. Ask yourself these questions. Is there an inequality between them at home, work, and in the community? Do you feel inspired or uninspired after spending time with those closest to you? Healthy, diamond, relationships are governed by mutual respect and ‘win win’ relationships. If you are constantly being criticized, this may indicate that your relationships are not healthy. 3. When you are struggling to find your value, enroll the help of others. A therapist may be needed to help you with a painful past, while a coach can support you in moving into a powerful future. Realize that getting the help you need is not a sign of weakness but strength. 4. Be persistent. Discovering your value is worth the time, commitment, and whatever investment is required. Refuse to be treated less than what you deserve. As with the diamond, your self-worth can be measured. The important thing is for you to realize that in both cases you determine what that value is for you. The choice is always up to you, a diamond or something vastly undervalued. (I would choose the diamond). Image taken from google images diamond-clarity-flawless-diamond1.png We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects.
Herman Melville This Foster Friendships Friday post, “I Call You Friend” poem is dedicated to all of those supportive, kind-hearted good people that have stood by your side in the good and the bad times. They may live close by, or on the other side of the world. Take a moment right now to reflect on how they have impacted your life. When you do, expect those corners of your mouth to form a smile upon their remembrance. Sharing your thoughts would be well appreciated. Picture taken from the blog clarity fm website I Call You Friend I call you friend Why? You eat my burnt food Without an oh my I call you friend Why? Your steadiness Helps me try I call you friend Why? You see what’s up Before I cry I call you friend Why? Yours words of hope Make me fly I call you friend Why? Your integrity shows A proper good bye That’s why I call you friend - Karen Bontrager Live life to the fullest; you never know who is watching.
If you need more support in your life, this Relationships Matter Monday commentary, “Support 101; Get the help you need,” will make that call much easier.
The phone book is an excellent resource for calling businesses that offer services for those inevitable, household emergencies. When someone needs a heating and cooling specialist, plumber, or a handy man, the yellow pages work well. All a person needs to do is to quickly flip through the printed, paper-thin pages, and begin calling, and in a matter of minutes, the appointment can be made. At this point, the problem is well on its way to being fixed. As simple as it is to solve a household repair by making a single call, being supported can be that easy if an individual is willing to change. All that is required is to take the first step to call Support 101; Get the help you need. However, this request for support is easier said than done because many people choose to suffer unnecessarily by playing the martyr in their lives. Do you as well? If so, then why do you refuse to ask for help? Let’s think about this. A possible explanation is that you believe being supported implies weakness. In an effort to avoid being perceived in this manner, you may gravitate to the opposite extreme in an effort to never have to ask for anything from anyone. Another possibility is that there is an uncomfortable sense that something is owed, which requires an expensive repayment in the not so distant future. With this perspective, being able to pick up the phone for you and others has different connotations. Looking at your life from this vantage point, it is easy to see how daunting this would be for you to begin asking for support if it has been one, a long time, and two, you have never engaged in this type of activity. Despite the difficulty in getting started, what would change if you did? Would your life become more productive and joyful? If you are interested in learning how to get supported, continue reading. Support 101; Get the help you need Tips 1. Honestly review the last 2 weeks of your life. If you have felt burdened by all of your jobs you do as husband, wife, student, child, boss, or employee, this may be a sign you are not being supported enough or at all. 2. Consider what if would be like if you have never engaged in this process. What is your story that you tell yourself about being supported? Notice what comes up, are you experiencing mostly negative or positive feelings? In what areas in your life could you ask for help? Journal your thoughts as you engage in the process. 3. When you begin to ask for what you need, take baby steps. It may be helpful to enroll your family or workplace in the changes you are committed to making. You may be surprised by how those closest to you quickly get on board. 4. Be patient with yourself. Habits are not unlearned quickly. Take the time you need to enjoy this new growth and discovery period in your life. Picking up the phone to get a repairman or asking for support requires you to take action to get the results you want and need. With the latter, if you are willing to honestly examine your life, take baby steps in getting supported, and are patient with yourself along the way, you may find that life becomes much more enjoyable. STOP OVERPARENTING
This Foster Friendships Friday commentary from discipline expert, Amy Morin, will help all of those who “overparent” be aware that there is a better approach. http://discipline.about.com/od/typesofdiscipline/fl/7-Signs-that-Yoursquore-Overparenting-Your-Child.htm Picture taken from: teen/life com website Your smile lights up the world, so smile more, and frown less.
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